Our HCG blood test was this past Monday. Even though I took MULTIPLE pregnancy tests last weekend that were positive, I was still nervous. My appointment was at 7am and the wait for that phone call was like watching paint dry. Tick tock tick tock. I finally got the call at 2pm.

IT WORKED. I’m pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been having a lot of mixed emotions the past few days.

ECSTATIC. Thrilled. Happy. Grateful. Relieved…

Petrified. Scared. Afraid.

Last time I miscarried at 8 weeks.

I know I need to stay positive and think happy thoughts. I’m trying…trust me.

One minute I’m planning a cute way to announce our pregnancy when that time comes. The next minute i’m frozen in fear thinking about our baseline ultrasound and the ultrasound 2 weeks after that….and all the other appointments up until I make it to my 2nd trimester.

I feel selfish for not feeling happy about this 24/7. I think about how far we’ve come the past two years. I’m so grateful that i’m even able to get pregnant. I’m grateful that God has given me another chance to have a baby. I know there are so many women out there who struggle to even get pregnant once.

Is this a normal feeling?

For now i’ll continue to get some rest, go for long walks, relax as much as I can and continue to stay positive….


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