Yesterday was my 2nd day of all 3 shots – Lupron (day 12), Gonal F and Menopur. Today, I am physically EXHAUSTED. B & I went to bed at 8:15 last night. How is that possible? Well, apparently it’s possible. I went to do my Lupron shot at 5am and I literally looked at the needle and said “i’m so sick of this”. I just have to keep telling myself that this is all worth it. I know it is…of course I know it is. That hope is still there.
I had to bring my Mom this morning for minor outpatient surgery. As I sat in the waiting room on my computer doing some work, I was inter-office IM’ing with one of my friends regarding a work topic. She then tells me that she and my other friend have noticed that I’ve been really quiet and keeping to myself lately. They figure it’s because one of them, M, just announced her pregnancy at the end of last month. (The pregnancy that I had a mental breakdown about from my first post).
Side note: I’ve been friends with these two girls for almost 20 years and lived with both of them, separately, at some point in those years. We all met in college. Crazy but so awesome that I get to work with my besties every day!
So I explain to K that I’ve definitely been keeping to myself but it has nothing to do with M’s pregnancy. Is it hard for me? Of course it is but M is one of my best friends and I need to put my feeling aside and be supportive and let her know that no matter what I’m going through, that i’ll be there for her, 100%. Then I go on to tell K that I’ve been going through a lot the past few weeks and I’ve started the IVF process and all these meds have me on this crazy ride. Hot flashes, mood swings…but for the past couple of days, pure EXHAUSTION. Plus, I don’t need ANYONE’s sympathy. I don’t want anyone feeling bad for me. SO…i’ve been keeping to myself. This is M’s happy time…not C’s (me) emotional roller coaster time.
So then I start feeling bad that M thinks I’m avoiding her and that I’m not happy for her.
Not the case. AT ALL.
So I reach out to M. My yaya. I tell her I would never want her to feel like I wasn’t happy for her. I tell her that I never want her to feel like she can’t talk to me about this amazing time in her life!
Little did I know that she was about to reach out to me to see how I was doing…because she’s been thinking about me and knew that I would be starting the IVF process soon.
Great minds think alike!!
Goes to show that in the end, no matter what you or your friends are going through, that you / they will ALWAYS be there for each other…NO MATTER WHAT. I’m so grateful for that.